Through New Eyes

So I received a new set of eyes and understanding towards my patients and their behavior. This happened on Tuesday when I was admitted to the hospital for suspected heart failure/MI. (they weren't sure) One minute I was ambulating to the doc's office and the next thing I know, I am being slapped in a wheelchair and told I could no longer ambulate. I had to be wheeled across a parking lot and through the very hospital I work at. I soooo wanted to climb in a hole because everyone knows me. To make matters worse, I was also ordered to bedrest with bathroom privileges. ME? SIT DOWN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh and then it was the fun little details....the nasal canula that was so uncomfortable. I had no idea. The medicines they threw at me without nary an explaination. I am thinking maybe that happened because I am a nurse and they assumed I knew. They tried to put nitro paste on me and that I didn't understand so I questioned it and was labeled rebellious.
Students were on the floor and wanted to do my IV/heplock. I would so be a hypocrite if I didn't let them. After the IV stick came the lab to draw my second troponin (that had been elevated the first time) and check my B-peptide for CHF. All this time, the nasal canula was driving me crazy.
About two hours after being admitted, radiology was at my doorstep to do my echocardiogram. Yayyyy, another trip around the hospital in a wheelchair so the whole JCMH world can say hi. I basically wanted to shrink away to nothing at this point.
Back to my room and my mom pops in to visit me. The assisted living decided they were going to leave her with me. We got to eat dinner together while visitor after visitor streamed through my room. I love being loved! And I got beautiful flowers that cheered me up. But I was ohhh so tired. After dinner, I got more visitors and finally at 9pm, got a silent room. I thought I would struggle to sleep but I did not. I dozed between my third set of cardiac enzymes and my vital signs an hour apart. Finally at 11 or so, I was out for a good solid 4 hours. It was bliss. The fun started again at 6am with an EKG and then the lab at 6:45. After that, I got a "bathroom shower" and changed my clothes, brushed teeth, etc. That did help my disposition. My new healthy heart breakfast arrived along with more visitors. The food was great and I was pleased at the amount I was allowed in spite of the low sodium. My sweet friend brought me my box of chai from my floor refrigerator so I also got to indulge in that because the sodium is low on that, thank the Lord!!
More visitors...then the doctor....I get to go home and see the cardiologist the next day as an outpatient. No, I cannot return to work until seeing the cardiologist. Yes, I need to go home and rest. Yes, I am still showing signs of edema but a lot less. I am still short of breath on exertion. But overall I feel improved, especially with the last two troponins being within normal range. What I didn't mention earlier was that if my troponin had gone up at all, I was being shipped to OK City for a heart cath. I tried to not think about that and enjoyed my visitors as my distraction.
I was thankful for the amazing caring staff of my hospital. EVERYONE was amazing. And I received new eyes. It will certainly help me be more compassionate and empathetic to the woes of my patients.